Monday, February 24, 2014

I Want to Quit... Everything

School is draining, because it isn't stimulating. At all. I'm in a credential program right now so I can teach high school social studies to pay bills until I can do what I really want (which~~~ I'm not even sure what that is yet).

It's awful, I know. Don't get me wrong, I'm passionate about teaching. Believe me. I've had to write countless essays about how and why I'm passionate about teaching (it seems extremely sneaky that they plan these assignments once you're in the program, and they have your money, and the student loan people have your soul, that try to weed you out and make you realize you don't want to teach at all). I want to be a role model for young women who have nothing but negativity all around them. I want to inspire.

But I don't want to teach high school social studies. At all.

I just got back from a wonderful week-long vacation in Hawaii (I'm so blessed). And it was absolutely a wake up call, having to come back to the real world. I don't want to go to class tonight. I don't want to sit there listening to a guy ramble on about things that are obvious to me. I don't want to go to class tomorrow. I don't want to sub at an elementary school in the morning. Yet... here I am.

I know this all sounds so whiny. I know I'm lucky to have options, a plan, and a job. I'm incredibly lucky and I know that and I wouldn't ever turn my back on that. But when, exactly, did I trade excitement, passion, and what I want out of life for stability? I know that's the best course of action for me right now. There's really no other option. But it's slowly killing me. And if I don't do something- ANYTHING- it will slowly kill me. It sounds dramatic. But I just don't want to get caught up in this cycle that so many people are stuck in. I want to live, and I want to be happy, and what I'm doing right now is just not making me happy, and I don't know how to change that.

Does anyone get that? I mean, I'm sure everyone does, to an extent. I just feel like I should either have it figured out by now, or I should just stop. I could take a while and just sort of exist while I try to work things out. But I'm just afraid that if I tried that I would still feel stagnant, like I do now.

I don't know what to do, but I'm going to figure it out. Eventually. But one thing's for sure, I need to wake the fuck up. I need to wake up and start living my life, regardless of what job I'm at or program I'm stuck in. I've been static for too, too long.

And now here's a picture of a freakin' adorable kitten surrounded by marshmallows, because this post was waaaaay too heavy. Cheers!


Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Back Again

I've done this before, you know.

I write some things, share some stuff, have some good ideas. Then I get busy. A girl's gotta eat, after all. School takes up pretty much every ounce of energy I've got in my body, and when I'm not there I'm doing things FOR there, or I'm trying to make money, or I'm trying to get healthy (I've been gym-ing a lot lately).

Again: I've done this before. I think every blogger has.

Not that I consider myself a blogger. Someday I will, though. That's one of my goals. I want to be the person who unabashedly shares every little and big moment in her life with people who enjoy listening. I want to be inspiration. I want to be the words that an insecure young girl comes across when she's at her lowest and just trying to find some answers. I want to help. I want to be the fun sister you never had.

Have you ever seen that episode of Friends where Monica's credit card gets stolen by a woman who spends her life doing all sorts of interesting things? I want to be that woman (minus the identity theft, of course). And I want to write about all of it, so that maybe, just maybe, I can encourage you to do the same.

This year has already been different. A lot of people say that, and a lot of people mean it when they do. I mean it. I've already done things differently and acted differently. I've got a different mindset and different feelings on stuff. The change isn't drastic, but it's there. Maybe it came from being in a program at school in which I actually feel intelligent and useful, instead of like I'm wasting the time of myself and everyone else. Maybe it's because I just got out of a long, intense relationship and am having to reexamine EVERYTHING. Maybe it's simply because I'm finally starting to make sense of what it is I want out of life, and what I want to do with my life. I'm not sure, but this year feels different. Every year, every day, every minute is a fresh start- but this one feels FRESHER. Somehow! It's exciting.

So maybe I'll do what I've done before. I'll talk about how busy I am and vow to start making time to write. I'll start off relatively strong and then before you know it I'll be gone again. But hopefully I can turn this blog into something more important than recipes and fashion tips (even though those things are totally important things). Maybe I can start talking. Telling stories. Planning. Helping. Encouraging. INSPIRING.

And maybe that will end up being just so damn cathartic to me that I just can't stop.

Here's hoping. :)


Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Recycled T-Shirt DIY

So, my mom sent me this cool Johnny Cash t-shirt, and I knew I had to do something with it. I was kind of afraid to cut into it. I mean, it's a cool shirt, but it also stands for the fact that my mom just gets me. You know? I'm almost 24 years old, I've been living away from home for 6 years, and I still get care packages. Only, MY MOM'S care packages include a $20 bill and a bitching t-shirt. Yes.

So, I was afraid to cut it up... but I knew that if I didn't, it would end up on the floor of my closet or in the trunk of my car, and I'd only really wear it to bed or the gym. So I took a deep breath and decided to try upcycling it into a cute blouse.

I think I nailed it. I have a few finishing touches and resizing things to do, but luckily I am visiting my parents on the weekend and can use my mom's sewing machine. But for now, I think, yeah, nailed it. Step by step instructions and pictures below.

This is the shirt, before I started. 

Step 1: Cut off sleeves.

Step 2: I made two cuts, about 2 inches from the edge of the sleeve, to make straps.

Step 3: I tried to be as accurate as possible, without using a ruler (oops). I made a 
mark right in the center of the chest, where I wanted my new neckline to be.

Step 4: I opted for a sweetheart neckline. I cut out the whole neck area, to make a 
lower, sweetheart neckline. 

Step 5: Flip the shirt over, and cut out the back. Here's where you can get really creative. 
I stuck with a plane, square back. 

Step 6: I decided to add a little bit of ruching on the bust. Right where the sweetheart points, 
I took a little thread and stitched about an inch and a half of basic ruching. I might add more later. 


Here's my finished product. I love it! I have to finish the edges of the neckline, so it doesn't roll up like that. I also want to take it in under the armpits, so I don't feel like I have to wear a cami underneath. Overall, I'm proud of my work!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

OOTD: Hippie Dippie

I'll make this short and sweet, but I reeeeally wanted to share the outfit I wore the other night. It's a far cry from the usual look I end up with, but I LOVE the thrifted elements, the wedges, and that my t-shirt was a bit sheer. I don't know what it is, but I'm obsessed with tops that are just a bit see-thru. I also love the sort of '70s vibe... I felt it, I think it's the shoes. I always loved all the outfits the girls in That 70s Show wore. So cute and girly, yet totally effortless and wearable. This outfit gives off that vibe, I just wish I had a pair of wide leg, high-waisted jeans!

Yet again, sorry for the really crappy quality of the photos. I got a tripod for Christmas, so pretty soon I promise I will actually use it to take decent pictures with my good camera.


Whole outfit.

A close up of these TO DIE FOR shoes. Love them.

Leggings: Torrid, T-Shirt: Forever 21+, Cardigan: Savers, Shoes: Salvation Army, Earrings: Old Navy.

Friday, January 4, 2013

OOTD: Adventure Time

I woke up this morning craving adventure. I needed to drive to Ontario to pick up some stuff for work, so I had every intention of driving up to the mountains after my errands were finished. I got dressed and packed up my camera and notebook and headed off. I got a little held up, though, and my big adventure turned into Thai food for lunch, and a fruitless trip to Sally Beauty.

Even still, I'm digging the outfit I chose for today. It's comfy and cozy, but I feel so cute. I chose basic leggings and a long, tunic tee. I paired that with a thrifted, burnt orange cardigan and a necklace my mom's friend made for me. And I pulled out my boots, because, well, what adventurer DOESN'T wear a pair of kickass boots? ;)

I'm ALWAYS up for an adventure!

Cardigan: thrifted, Tee: F21+, Leggings: Torrid, Boots: Torrid, Necklace: handmade gift.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Black Lips and Kale Chips

Just a random little post about some things I'm digging now.

I'm really feeling this makeup look... I don't know how practical black lips are (by the way, the Black Lips, a great band!) but I'm really digging them. Here's a little step by step of how I got the look:

1. I started by blotting out my lips with foundation. This is pretty much how I do pale lips. I then dusted some powder on top of the foundation.

2. Next, I lined my lips with a black eyeliner pencil. I filled it in with some black cream shadow.

3. I went over this with the really dark Wet n Wild shade, I can't remember what it's called  but it's like a really dark purple color (really pretty on its own). 

4. I topped this with a layer of Urban Decay's lipstick in oil slick.

5. Topped the look off with black lipgloss from Rimmel I got at Ulta.

Products I used.

Et voila!

Another current obsession are kale chips. I made some earlier and I have to say, they totally surpassed any expectation I had. They surprised in a good way, crispy and salty. They satisfy like a potato chip, for real, only I may actually like the flavor better! The way the kale tastes with the olive oil is just so yummy.

I got my recipe from, but it's pretty easy:

Tear up the leaves of one bunch of kale and rinse and dry. Layer on a cookie sheet. Drizzle with a bit of olive oil. Sprinkle with some salt. Bake at 350 for 10 minutes. Bam. 

New favorite snack, and new favorite crazy night out look.



Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Teriyaki Turkey Burgers

I've been eating less and less red meat, mainly because it's just not as versatile and easy to use, in my opinion, as chicken. It doesn't taste as good to me, either. I'm such a chicken-eater.

I have a big pack of turkey burgers in my freezer. The way they are wrapped and packaged makes them super easy to freeze and stock up on. I have them, but I rarely eat them. It's hard to imagine using a turkey burger interchangeably with a hamburger. For some reason. I mean, I know they are exactly the same: ground up meat shaped into patties. They really are exactly the same thing.

But when I eat a hamburger, or, who are we kidding, a CHEESEburger, it is almost always dripping with mayo and ketchup and covered in multiple slices of cheese. Sometimes bacon. Sometimes onions.

I just can't imagine doing that to a turkey burger.

So I came up with this.

Now, it's by no means healthy. In fact, I felt silly making it with a turkey patty (98% lean!) instead of a regular hamburger patty. I really need to get over my weird meat-patty hangups, don't I? But it delivers a yummy combination of tastes in a very satisfying burger form.

I give you my teriyaki turkey burgers with grilled onions and bacon.

Holy cow, right?!

They really are quite simple to make, and there really isn't any "recipe" to it, although next time I will experiment with using ground turkey and make my own patties. I want to add teriyaki, garlic, and other good things directly to the meat, yum. I might also leave out the bacon. You can easily take this from a HOLY COW once in a while meal to an easy weeknight dinner by leaving off the bacon, adding some toppings that are a bit healthier, a whole-wheat bun, and a salad on the side. 

Teriyaki Turkey Burgers
Serves 4

four quarter pound turkey burgers (or Boca, ground beef, bison, chicken, etc.)
four hamburger buns
four tablespoons mayo
four tablespoons teriyaki sauce
one half of a sweet onion
one tablespoon EVOO
four strips of bacon (more or less- I used soft-cooked thick cut strips, so I only put one on each burger)

garlic powder, pepper, and other seasonings of choice for the patties
lettuce, tomato, pickles, and other toppings for burgers

Cook the seasoned turkey patties until desired doneness. Cook the bacon, and break into burger-sized pieces. Cook the onion in one tablespoon of olive oil. Warm buns by placing split side down in the onion skillet, once they are done cooking. Spread one side of bun with mayo, and the other with teriyaki sauce. Layer patties, onions, and bacon, along with any other toppings.